Sunday, April 24, 2011

a wound that is too deep

salam bloggiie..

haa....tonite the air is pretty tight... and suffocating ....

tell me one thing bloggie...how would you feel ...when you are no longer wanted ? day by day you are subconsciously warned and hated through words and actions.

for those who do not know ....if they were to see this the first time.. they would say ..." oh she is teaching her..." "Oh she has all the rights in the world to do that ..."etc....

has she ever held her like everyone else?
has she ever touched her like everyone else?
has she ever spoken to her like everyone else?
has she ever remembered her like everyone else?
Does she even remember her birthday once?
Does she even remember to say "how are you.."?

- No. She has not.
- No. She Never does.

oh yes ...she is fully grown now, an adult ...she would know all....she is not a child...oh for cryin out loud...and there goes the weep and the despair ...

deep down ..there is a deeper wound no one has ever known, no one has ever realized ...it will never Heal. Not even Time can. Not even Patience can...it will Remain a Wound....

being ambitious is a good thing ...being ignored ...good luck with that .. heh :)
sometimes ...there is this wish ..to make it all right ..again ...to make it for the better...to make amend....*sigh*

to even write about it ...is heart wrenching...try living in one bloggie ....
you have no clue~

Saturday, April 16, 2011

it could happen to anyone of us

salam bloggie ...
huhu ..semua karatz..blogs...fb ..ym...is that a sign of aging? technologically declined? hehe ...

all i knew ..i feel like closing all accounts...or deliberately change to new password that i wont be able to remember..ha ha ....i have in fact shut down my fb...and left my blogger.com serabut. dont even know who else would be stopping by here...it's creepy. felt like coming to an empty room...freaky isnt it?

this was once ..my playground. sigh...and it's slowly dying...

today i got very annoyed with office team. i had to clean up their mess ...yet again. i really hate doing that...it makes me wanna eat the person's in charge's head LIVE. however she wasnt there. i think she is very lucky. else...i would have swallowed her big time ..and of course I will be at fault tomorrow....for not being "nice"?

what's with human who keeps giving reason for not knowing how to do things around? can't you learn? ask around ...GROW! exactly. what is sooooooooo hard to ASK?

it pisses me off because i gotta deal wth outsiders. people who we wanna keep as our friends...business ...NETWORK...u ...*(#&*(&*(#^#*(^&#*(^)#($*)@(

now? sapa nak jawab? exactly.....aku la jugak muka terconteng kat situ .....hush....shucks...

then when dropped by my rusty fb....ada plak lagi satu yang sakit hati .......dun even know when it's gonna be over..............haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghh...lantak ko la ....ada aku kisah? ( kot...tui tui tui)

ko buat la stunt apa ko nak buat ...aku da tak nak amik kisah ....even at times aku kisah...but aku pun ada hati perasaan ...bukannya kulit babi sampai tak rasa apa kan ....almaklumla ..tebal sangat....huh...

apa2 pun ..I am Fighting. ko buat la apa ko Suka. nanti Allah balas balik...baru ko rasa...