Friday, May 11, 2012

agony.

Salam globbie..

it has been a while since i last post.  and same with others whenever they ask me where have i been ? i would say " i kan sedang sibuk bercinta!" oh well...that is my sarcasm actually....

how do i say ? life is indeed beautiful and challenging..else ..we won't be here today as HIS Khalifah ..and ruling this earth. 

I am going through a lot at the moment of writing this and I didn't think it's a nuisance in my life. however, i did feel tired and Tired. at one point ..when am overly stressed ...i just hope God would take my life. *does that sound right? heee * but seriously .. i am tired and stressed out.  i have no one to turn to except Allah. cliche isn't it? but that's the truth.

i have no more idea to write. i need to focus and work on my TQ12 project. Dear Allah...Let it happen in COLORS...lots and lots of them...aaamiinnn..

Thursday, March 15, 2012

MQA gaga

salam globbie!

hoho...i'm Drowning. I have submission by 18th. FOUR to be exact and I have only started with the frameworks! friggin things have been delayed due to my abnormal brain which can't even focus even to start A sentence! I'm Doomed. Can I make it? beats me globiee...it's fcukin' annoying too with all these assholes trying to beat tha Crap outta me with their nonsensical acts.

the last 2 days have been tied up with MQA, i took my AL to simply focus on my write ups. he he he ..guess what..i didnt move much. this is what u get when you are Blocked. as simple as that. suffice to say ...banyak dosa ..Allah Punishes....huhu :} *ai tot so too* ngeee :)

oh! oh! by the way, I went to my last session with Carolyn today, it was FUN. i think I spent like 2 hours 930-1130am....by talking and Talking. hahahahahahaha...When Carol meets McSha...nothing can stop them from potpetting and giggling like there is no tomorrow. We were catching up on so many things, the kuching trip, the Commotion at HQ, the kek lapis, The Problem of hers, my past ( suddenly I thought of my late brother and Grandfather) and yes ..I miss THEM very much. I told Carol, the time spent with Aboh (my late Grandad) was never enough because he managed to be There...eventho not really there. Most of the time he would be in the office and Around, but he always ensures his presence is felt. via Disney's cartoon ( of gazillions sets my uncle had to tape and buy...for ME :) )hahahaha and also all the assistants, PA, secretary...u name it ..our babysitters were aplenty. and they were all Family to Us. 'twas never a strange feeling being around them. and they're always The Uncles and The Aunties of our growing up years in Alor Setar. It was indeed a Home, where all the Hearts...Were. I miss the fact that he Loved me for who and what I was ( at that time) I wish he is Alive now ...for I know I will be making many right decisions instead of the wrong ones :) he he I know for sure he Will be there at the End of the line ...to say "YOU DO IT, why must you expect others to do it for you?" - YOU DO IT! yeah Aboh....if ONLY you are here Now, to be my Confidante, my Advisor, my coins-provider *coz everytime I wanna put the coins in that stupid MPKB slot, I would always think of u ..and my habit of tip-toeing into your room to collect all the shillings on the carpet...under the bed....or in your pocket even! hahaha* aaahh....you have always been my Best-est Grandfather...ever. There is no one like you. Now, a Disney movie is scornfully meaningless ..without you. hehe ...what am i yapping scornfully? I grew up with that. ha ha ...and today with Carol , those Images came out Clear in My Head. and She said to me "you have been a traveler since u were young....no wonder...." upon knowing the fact that I have been put on board the MAS Fokker every school break, alone and be "received" by my Uncle Jang in Alor Setar...without fail. I was my Aboh's favorite "Parcel" besides my Brother G; of course. It's queer how those images were so Clear today; in my Mind and Heart. Life is Amazing noh globbie...it Gives Aboh and Abg Saidi to me. Whom the latter, i did not have the opportunity to even shake his hand. He passed On, before I was even Conceived. To a reckless driver.

The 4 most significant persons in my life. and now I only have two more left. Super-Significant. and Carol too admitted that, now she knew whom did I inherited; oh ..The General indeed.
No wonder People have been talking of me to be the Sidekick...funny...I never feel That way. least not that I know Of. however, I do know for sure, I adore his Charisma and Patriotism.

and today too, I realize I am too Strong in the eye of a Person till she risks everything she has to beat me. It has never crossed this chomel mind of mine, she would relentlessly go to the un-superficial extend, oh globbie, she did. or may be does. my days are still circulating around that bimbo. anyhow, I really feel sorry for her....whot..? sorry? nahh....pity...yea ..i pity her ...for having to live in fear, of me. isn't it pathetically funny? Me? a nobody; to her the very least. could shake her gibraltar-ass~ * hahahaha excuse my french, i didn't mean to offend anyone :) *

-What doesn't KILL me, will make me STRONGER- I vehemently believe in that. The stronger i Become, the more you are annoyed with me, Is that even MY PROBLEM? you wanna culture dislike-ness and cynical jokes towards me ...go ahead, it was not even my problem to think of. Nonetheless, you are only conforming of your True Colors. of which, it's none of my problem either. he he. Let me ask ya globbie, did i put you in hot seat? LOL- only a jilted loser will feel or be in such situation.
I believe in what Goes around, will come Around. when that day comes, no matter how hard you try, you can never Run; nor Hide. I just hope you do not have to end up in a trash corner somewhere eating Junkies.

Again, talking to Carol was an eye-opener moment. She made me realized my un-limited Capability (within the human capacity). She made me realized how Lucky I am. She made me realized how Grown have I been in this Process. She made me realized, I'm SUPER CUTE DOW! hahahahahahhaha * oh eat your heart out for crying out loud *itcH. *lol~

all in all, as a HUMAN with very little good deeds in hand, I am forever THANKFUL Allah made my life in such a way. I learn to recognize....a Friend or a Foe.
and I'm still super cute with so many things at hand that many will be envious of. but hey, when you take it negatively, how can there ever be positive? Instead, work hard for it, the Rewards are Bountiful. and THOSE are PRICELESS, not even a PhD can ...BUY.

To Carol, Thank you for opening up my Mind; in such a creative and magnificent way. you're one of a Kind-lah Amoi he he he

Monday, March 5, 2012

Where was I? kampung katanya!

salam globbie!

huhu ...it has been a while hor? ya lor...works suck...life...suck.....me? no suck one lah! hahaha ...but all in all... my first quarter of 2012 is not really nice. so to say. therefore. ..i decided to leave this "country" kampung gegerl ni skejap. taking a breather...and where was i ? ho ho ho....frankly globs...it became the talk of the town! hahaha giler meriah ...tetiba ramai bebenor keepies *short for keypochees* nak menjaga kain aku...*tettttttt* hahahaha

bak kata si sopek..."Kelik Kapung!" hahaha yeahhh...we kelik kapum alrite...we were ...

erkk...apakah? he he ni la ..people in My world call it ..Kalimantan...bordering Bau, Sarawak. It was a weekend getaway for us. we simply wanna go makan-makan and nothing else...oh okay..sleeps too. we enjoyed observing culture and merely standing in the crowds of people who spoke the language of unknown, and yes apart from the remote areas, we love the town too where I really enjoyed my nites at Tune's. they have the best best thus far..( of course u can't compare it to New York The Plaza....but hey...for a budget hotel, it's super comfy :)


i love the off-white sheet...gebu! berlapis2 mattress. and it's fluffy too! hihi...now i can't stop thinking about sopek's friend, si Chu. it's funny how he called me "speaking london.." hahaha ....what to do ...nasib la Jah ..janji kita happy ...kan? hahahahaha it's actually kinda hard to get rid this habit ..because a ticer..always gotta be a ticer. annoying in some sense! hahahahaha

and last nite before i meredah tangga ERL putrajya sentral tu ..I went out with my former student, si Casse ( chu..mmg nama dia gini..bukan omputeh...sabahan he he he ) and she brought me to hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....*konpom Chu merembez!*

empty table. habis sudah! hahahaha ...amcam?

hahaha ..those are Salted Eggs Crab and Thermidor apa benda cheese tah...Prawn! gile heaven! and ...you do not have to Fly all the way to Kalimantan to get all these! of tosh....nor menjelajah kelate even! it's in your DOORSTEP! of Kuala Lumpur je pown~ hahahahahhahaha....

Here you go : www.fattycrabs.com
the owner is Franco Yong. happening guy. friendly too. knock yourself out with the DELIVERY SERVICES TOO! but sorry hor...dua orang rakan ku...sopek and soChu, Putrajaya takdak orang nak kayuh beskal pi...so they only deliver within the vicinity of KL only...to be specific..please refer the website. altho i would like to remind you....blazing thru the site will definitely KILL your brain. trust me. tak pecaya....pi la ushar...ha ha ha ...(jgn cerca aku lak pasni ..hahahahha)

Since gambar2 chantek at Sarawak are with soPek ..so I shall just wait for her to update it for me via FB. in the meantime....uolls....ENJOY that KETAM upthere! i dah makan....korang? hihihihi nguahahahahahhahaha ^_^

oh yah...by the way Chu...it was an honor n nice meeting you ..awak memang chomel dan daring...kita suka cara awak cakap..memang geboo habis! sia-sia la sapa yang selalu suka menDURJANAkan Chu...orang tu takkan bahagia ....apaPun...DiriMu always Berharga pada Mereka yang tahu Menerima mu Seadanya. (hahahaha euww ...mcm cerpen !) be cute and be bold! nanti May ni banjer mek sha ketam fattycrabs deh? ngehehehehe~

Muahs!

nota kaki: flite AA dari 31May - 4 June...hahahah


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

sickly 2012

salam globbie..

huigshh...brroooooooooooooooobbbbbbbbbbbb aacchoom! haa...this is what 2012 likes for me. it's aweful, dreadful and sickly year... Sickly too..if ya know what i mean globs...

to some life is beautiful..and that immaculate beauty ..is somewhat tarnished by sluts and slits and stupidity. plain simple. yesterday i came across Hj Rosdi ..a pious man ..who is our Monday Liqa leader. he'll be taking his Sabbatical soon. going home to his family and rests. i think he needs it badly. people are not getting what he is preaching and the youngsters are just killin him ..even faster than fate is! like seriously. i feel sorry for him. because i can understand what he is going through..pretty much like mine...the difference is that he preaches...I? oh yeah I whine...like super a lot. heee :) somehow I am well aware that MY whines ..are pretty much still logic...and not the bitchy-slutty type..*there I've said all those bad words in nice manner...aren't I?* hahahaha vongoks...as always :) heee....

seriously globbie, I am seeing people who refuse to Learn. As I told Hj Rosdi yesterday..how stupid can a person be ? why can they not Learn? i mean ..it IS a simple calculated risk...it isn't something majestic or so to say...'aite? and he replied me " Cik Sha, this people need more time to Learn..." and me and my stupid grin on ma face.. " Like HOW LONG?" I knew he wanted to "babble" me about the perjuangan Rasulullah and his sahabat during those years preaching Islam...but he KNEW too I will be saying ..." YOU wanna COMPARE these people with Rasulullah n Sahabat? they were in STONE AGE! WE have TOO many things around to IGNITE these kepala Otaks of OURS , demmit...*yang ni aku cakap dalam hati la bab demmit ni hehehe)" - Hj Rosdi KNEW i will never accept such comparison NOT because I do not believe in Rasulullah SAW...I DO believe in his perjuangan ..SUMPAH I DO. but i do not like people use that comparison because what if Rasulullah has iPad2 at that time? ...Galaxy Notes?..Tabs?..Emails?..Blogs?...Islam would have Spreaded Faster! and No wars to appreciate whatever the people in the Past had done! that's just about it. SOME of our people are not APPRECIATIVE. period.

those in the past they shed bloods, lost families, friends, relatives..wealth..every single thing to let the children of Now prosper. Unfortunately we did not See and Appreciate that. we prefer to tear up some stupid posters and got suspended for nothing ..and we celebrated people who were shouting on the streets asking for Justice ..we parade those who are not doing anything but breaking apart the Soul of Brothers and Sisters...like...WTF is that? Don't these people have a-mind of their OWN to like.......THINK? I do not have to be whatever Colors there are out there ..to THINK! I GOVERN my Own Mind. simple. What does Religion mean to you, when it is making your Heart Dirty and Stink? -exactly-

and you wanna tell me it's Perjuangan? this is the part where i'd say ..Kiss my Big A*S. *smirk*

it all boils down to the reeky-facts where the same shits happen in our working environment. people are not Bright enough. by that capital B i do hope you know what am Sayin' globbie....do not read me Literally, for Cryin' out Loud. Have I been too Obvious in some ways? huhu...
It's suffocating to be in a working environment where people (ok ..excuse me...SOME PEOPLE) are big-fat pretentious liar (that's another idiom haha)

what's worse is that it involves some OTHER people who wanna do things right..follow The Book and Live happily ever after. (cewah...ko ingat ko cinderella beydah? kapish!)

On that note, I am definitely hearing Hj Rosdi at the back of my head saying "Cik Sha (dia suka benor panggil aku gini)...... Kita hidup ni manusia ada macam-macam warna, macam-macam sikap dan perangai (bila aku baru je nak buka mulut and mencapab) nanti dulu...bagi saya habis kan....( hahahhaha ) Sudah menjadi lumrah, kita di jadikan dengan pelbagai kerenah ..untuk saling melengkapi...( aku pun akan mula la berkata dalam hati ..U THINK?) saling tolong menolong.....saling nasihat menasihati (TENG! TENG! TENGGG!! ) supaya kita dapat menjadi Umat yang mendapat Redha dan Kasih ALLAH SWT (part ni aku taleh kata apa da la ..sbb confirm Betui :) )

tapi kan globbie...part Redha Allah tu betui laa...tapi manjang aku yang kene ...where got Road? ada je orang cari jalan nak kenakan nak kadambabu kan aku...because? am much lower than them? apa hengat ko bagus sangat ke? please do not think i didn't know your bad shites, all these whiles. No one knows because I...this CIK SHA is a NICE,FARKIN' KIND-HEARTED PERSON KIAH OII! i am not the leaky type who'd potpetting for no apparent reason (do notice the word APPARENT there...hihiks..apparently kisohnya kan) PLUS, bukan jenis aku nak hodohkan orang yang sudah sedia ada HODOH...reti? ko tanggung je la ngan Allah SWT...Kendian. settle.

Moral of the story, Be honest of who you are (may be not all...but to a certain degree where it won't bite u in return hehe ) No matter who you are ...how you do things around you ..Inshallah ...Allah Listens and He will Reward YOU for your Kindness and Goodwill towards People. Bersabar (although aku ni pun ilang sabar gak kadang2) and One Day you will get a much better and Rewarded Life ( jangan tanya aku HOW LONG sebab aku tau ....tu seksaaan Dunia...but trust me I've only Lived 20cents of it...and I did not plan to stop...just yet)

They can keep Tormenting us with all shites in the world ...but they Have to Answer to HIM. may be not tomorrow...but Allah Promised ..ITU PASTI.

so what if you lose it once in a while...go get some haagen daaz or a good treat of Ben & Jerry's (super Vanilla...oh yeah!) at Cold Storage, OR simply take a day ( or TWO! haha) annual leave...(like i did..today ..haha) and lazy your asssssssssssss around the house with good food...good cable tv and simplicity of life....naked! ( hahahahahah just kidding....hazab ko...kene panah petir...padan muko! hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha)

what i meant was ...go pamper yourself..do whatever you like...go bungee jump, if u can afford it ...spa...bowl...shopping retails...whatever shites u want...THEY CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU!

WOOOHOOOO!!!!
eat your heart out sakkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Ngok~

salam globs ..

2 days ..of holiday weekend ...jumaat n sabtu ..aku tido mcm naga tadak gas. hahahahha siyesly aku tired and kaki aku da jadi cam elephant...sembab for no reason ...actually i knew why ...sbb aku duduk di meja ngadap komputer 24 jam sehari ...kowt...hahaha kat opis duk ataih kusi ..kat umah duk ataih kusi ...basically my blood didnt go anywhere...and aku sembab dowh...mula la panic....so MT 3 ekor ni pergi la berjimba kat al jabbar dr jisim tu ..hahaha more or less la nama dia..lupo dah aih ...we were "electrocuted" for 1 hour...hahaha sonok gak ...men sizzle kan bontot2 gajah di situ ..hahahahhaha....taleh blah when i was electrocuted by Rosy...adoi..sakit gilo...seb baik tak tekench..hahahahahhaa ..memang gilo! and that was pretty much benda aku buat...hahaha

lain2 semua tido bangun makan tido bangun makan berak! haaaaaa indah nya idup ..biarlah aku ada satu gunung kinabalu keje menunggu...file MQA lagi satu tak settle...semua aku leave it ..
pi mampos la...ada subordinate pun cam harem....

in the meantime ..i still have 12 hours to sleep. before tomorrow the doomsday comes....

BIARKANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN~

Friday, January 13, 2012

magic Wand

salam globs..

haish...the opening of 2012 wasn't that great for me. it's shitty. heh~ well..i dont wanna be called as ungrateful...coz in no way i meant that...i was frustrated. (or may be still am).

2012 marked the year where I found that my Trust has been Betrayed. big time. big this one Biatch. really...when it hit me first...i did pray for the worst. to be Punished upon her. but then again..its wrong to ask for such thing from Allah...

Dear Allah.. I am hurt. way to deep. I cannot pretend the case did not exist. I cannot pretend the person is not there. How am I going to walk thru it...without this hatred and sick feeling inside?

to be honest..am sick to my stomach..for whatever happens...I pray Allah Gives me Patience..(berkeping2 patience aku perlu kan buat masa ni ..) Give me Lights Ya Allah ..Give me Strength.....

I'm Weak~

Thursday, January 12, 2012

huh...

menyampahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Friday, January 6, 2012

hoish...

ngantuk!

salam ...globs...

balik je keje muka mcm tapai...turun gi keje 730am...muka aku ni mana reti pi awal ...salu aku masuk 930...ikut jam uttarpradesh! he he ...today i feel like FLIRTING. hahahahahah ...takde keje cari keje ...and MrX fell for it.

anyhow...i am still ngantuk.
esok jelajah siam...
huyyooooo!!!!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

si?

salam globs ..

di kala aku mengisi malam2 ku dengan file2 yang perlu di semak untuk graduation bebudak ni ...tetiba aku di rentap..it strikes way deep to my Heart...i don't know why sometimes people find it Hard to understand and respect other people.

living in K-state is way Different. I once thought...mungkin diri aku ni yang sudah berubah...dan aku yang perlu memahami budaya ibunda ku ...supaya aku lebih menghargai Peluang yang telah Allah berikan pada ku.

I chose to ask Allah and hidup menjadi orang Timur. kerana aku Orang Timur.. Orang Islam. tetapi ternyata ...islam di sekelilingku tidak memahami ..akan erti pengorbanan, akan erti penghormatan...akan erti sebuah kehidupan. Mungkin tidak semua....tapi yang pasti majoriti tidak memberi aku peluang untuk Bernafas, untuk Berkongsi Alam ini.... I do not understand why...I can never will...letih bila orang menyangka aku ni bukan-bukan...sedangkan aku work my ass off to live in this culture.

apalah lagi salah aku...Ya Allah dengan mereka-mereka yang tidak henti2 menghina dan mencabar ke Egoan ku....
astaghfirullahala'zeem....