Monday, December 26, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
did ever occur to u that one day ...your past just ...simply make a turn ..and it points at ..YOU! ha ha ...i got my version juz now. ..like in less than 30 minutes.....OH ..my PIZZA! seriously ..i didnt expect its going to be that ... ( i dont even have a word to describe it ) but ..yes, it hit me dowh~
luckily i juz got my freedom! from my never ending piles of books and papers. so was i really hit? hihihihi........all i can say..........EAT-YOUR-HEART-OUT-SAKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
oh man! so this is what it feels like ..WINNING? nguahaahahah oh woman! ...if ONLY all women out there can feel This? betcha...they'd walked out straight up...and make those days...and kick their asses...
Merry Christmas to all Christian friends..
as for me?
I Won! and Mudcrab maggie is already on me Mind ....plus had a Great Dinner @ KengSom's with Family. I WON! muhahahahaha~
Thursday, December 22, 2011
i slept my day thru. hehehe ...kunun contemplate to wake up early and study. to my sangkarable not-surprised sangat....i woke up and checked on my movie download! haha and DONE it was ...I was so excited...teeth unbrushed, face like kejung ...quickly selected my playlist...and BAM! - A Christmass Kiss (2011) movie ngaaa :) I knew I wont be able to watch its premier on Hallmark's. Hence the early upload. Well..am in malaysia...so not-so early ...it has already been aired in the states.
half of my morning was really.. "wasted" hahahahahah...but ..it was good vibe...reminiscing ..over years and years of memories. it was ..Cold ...brutally Cold inside. *sigh* ....next~
then ..i decided to read my book n notes on The Bed. ya la kan...like i know meself in two days...i slept by the 30th seconds ...? hahahahah gile tido tak hengat...woke up around 4. showered ...and lapaq ....then i thought of my parcels ..and ijat!! it's her literally last day in the office today.
hoisgh...she was busy clearing when i called to ask her out for early dinner at zakini. a kid who now has turned into a woman. she bloomed alright. and i do hope she learns more and gains more in the long run ....she deserves this break. the chance to infiltrate herself with knowledge and love. Love of a being a human and salivating brains out ...for a lil wisdom. Wisdom of Life. or dengan mudah dan radikal ..bunyi nya equivalent to ..da'wah and Tarbiyyah....
I have never felt right ..typing or mentioning those words. Feels a bit odd...out of place...at times. huhu....
i went to see the office ...it was half empty....we did many things together...especially with ELAC. The ELAC that has crushed out our pains n bitterness to the last drop. ELAC that hold too many memories with them. ELAC that is Everything to us...( at least to me...it was obvious)
Now, i am teamless. I have no team mate. zero. i feel like am on this Huge island ...all by myself. again. Working in this line requires gazillions of passion...miles and miles of Heart. sometimes, it Drains you out. when am on That Island. oh yeah..It Drains alrite. Hence, the decision on deactivating ELAC and tries to work on the current program, build their confidence, work on the discipline board (at least till february 2012) , mentoring the students ...on Advisory board....juz like 2006. :)
Oh well....it has been a fun Ride.
spread your wings and prepare to Fly.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
huu..that's Anchovy in pink...or known by birth Izzati...or Ijat to many ..and Anchovy to us ..ELACians...
it's well-known farewell to many now that Anchovy is leaving for her post graduate study in Shah Alam and will be hibernating in Seremban for a month or so. huhu ...Many management officers asked me ..when is your registration date...and I said ..dunno. I lied. :) hahahhaha dang girl....if they know..betcha they'd hold u up...again....*must be nice kan ...people dont want to let someone go, hahaha wait til my turn....they'd throw confetties ..PISH! PISH!* hahahahaha
anyhow ..dont worry. i will definitely make time to see you off...not because i am celebrating you leaving ...it's just that i didnt get to spend our last week in the office together due to my exam dates. there's a slight hollow inside for not being able to laugh in the cubicle for the last time *well...last for 2 years* haha ....and for not being able to cook that tempe pedas second round for u ...oh well there's so many things I need to do to wish u farewell..but i didnt get to do all...sorry banyak. i'll try to make it up to u..in 2 years time then? he he :D tah i idup lagi tidak masa tu ...
I wish u all the best in grad school, kick ass! and enjoy college life again. whenever u get to eat better chicken chops! do brag it to me...hahahaha ...
till 2013, cheers mate! thank you for putting up with me ...all these years.
sometimes ure up ...sometimes (although i wish to type all-the-time) ure down~ sigh..that's the beauty of life. i saw his face today...no...no...not his face...his words...i still miss him..like..4%, he he ...how did i know ..coz i still remember his favorites...susah kan...jadi robot kan senang..ingat bateri je nak idup...
I'm praying for Allah to take that 4% back. I want to forget. thinking or reminiscing ..will only bring tears to my heart...
oh ya...i bought new perfume...takde keje ..prabih duit...ho ho ho...been waiting for it for so long...Bloom is in my hands....suker! and i plan to lay low ..til 2012 ..hoyeah...a year where I wish everything will turn out GREEN...or gold ..perhaps? heee :)
i learn a lot about friendship this year. like so different from what i had previously..and it is uberly shaken inside with all sorts of galores of mixed feelings. hmm macam mixed research gitew nyah...hu hu...
the best thing of knowing a person, is to NOT put too much Faith in believing. coz when you're Hurt....it's way...d.e.e.p.
i guess experiencing that in this kinda weakened dinasour age...frustrates me a lot. let's just say I wish too much for what a human can accept a friend for. and that too much...is denigrating the part of my so called life...- trust.
It's quite remorseful to be in such situation, but hey this is World. It aint over till the Almighty high above Sings?? oh well..that is just an expression, do read my between-the-lines if you really want to understand me. Alas, I wasnt demanding either. After all, I ain't perfect Either. hai loh~
there's a lot of issues for me to write in here ..but i guess i didnt want to sound ...biatchy. hehe :)
i better go to sleep.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
today my life is so upside down! kisah nya ..aku dah panic. .sbb aku tersalah tgk dates! minggu ni starting ahad sampai jumaat aku exam! and aku ada classes yang aku made everyone promised to attend sbb aku tak nak skip weeks...hahaha mampuih dan minggu ni jugak sharmin nak hantar sales utk eclairs and chicken pie.. mampuihhhhhhhhhhh
so tadi ..with thick skin ..i had to brace myself to let sharmin know about my mistake...that i have forgotten its my exam week!
i studied 3 chapters out of 10!! gile dok? bengong tul..one whole day .. I couldnt focus. my panic is attacking me inside. slowly. aiyoooooooooooh.....
i dropped by the office to check on my notes and assignment to be delivered to class by ijat...PUN to no avail....* talk about screwing up life real baddddddddddd...*
last but not least aku tolong orang order barang online ...hoigsh....takde keje tul..! bengong...
now ...i wish i am married to tengku muhammad faris ..so i do not have to think of all THESE!! huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ya Allah ....please save my night....give me Strength for tomorrow...and kekalkan la ilmu dalam kepala otak ku yang senget ini..>Amin...ya Rabbal A'lameeeenn..........
serabut je ..Kawin..serabut je Kawin! ...ingat senang ke?!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Congratulations to Sultan of Kelantan, HRH Tengku Muhammad Faris Petra Ibni Sultan Ismail Petra ..on the coronation of the Deputy of YDPA. you are so..chomel. I guess everyone is complimenting and thanking him for the new duty. May he prosper and wiser in attending all the chores of the country and K-State. sigh~ you are still...chomel... hahahhahaha *abih dah aku..*
indeed the Rose who will be Next to him is lucky and Lucky. *sigh* boleh dok nok jeles? hehehehe oh well..>Life goes on Tengku...Fare Thee ..Well...AllahuAkbar!
huuu~ tetap chomel ...come what may.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
at 2am I headed to ER in one of the specialist hospitals here. by 4am I was screaming to A person. I was personally offended by his remarks. I wasn't supposed to be there even. but, humanitarian act, melted me. I chose to be there. for the sake of my Family. and yet...It was even tougher than I thought, it was.
by 5am I was home and slam-dunked meself onto the bed. tired and agonized I chose to sleep first till 930am. now it's 11-ish, I'm not at the office yet. I do not feel like IT. I have been thinking, over and over again. It's pouring outside....and the weather is somewhat nice in the east coast (when it rains) as compared to KL-side. the level of moist in the air is somewhat celebrated here than KL. poor those kl-nites who had to deal with flashflood, where I was lucky to have left the place an hour earlier. else, i would have been stucked in the water too. and imagine that~
3 former students of mine dropped by. former elac to be exact. and they were talking on pursuing their undergrads in TU. Teesside University, Middlesborough, UK. -nice-
I don't know, whenever I heard of TU, i am no longer excited. that name was once upon a time nice to my ears, now seems like a plague. tu la...orang tua2 slalu pesan...jangan galok sangat...pah ni gak mu rasa la.... ~ now I'm rasa-ing la...padan muka aku....tak dgr kata orang tua2...heh~
not hoping for reciprocation, but a little thought will do. when we don't get it? bershukurlah dengan hidup ini. as for you can never ask for all...and if it's not meant to be yours...let it go. life is too big to live alone. cherish it... I once said to myself and the people i've met.
Now, I got to live it. been re-living it for plethora of times. ngua ngua ngua....
I gotta stop mocking and cursing. I want the Old me back...not the very Old me ...but the Old me ...
Saturday, December 10, 2011
after THAT stressful day. I decided .. I should spend SOME MONEY for MYSELF!
and where did i end up? NARATHIWAT!
hahaha talk about perabih pitih and menjamu selera...it was an ASS-SOME day. It started out at 8am for me to fetch ijat n tikah....to meet up with Sharmin My Niece at Pengkalan Kubor Imegresen...we head to Tak Bai for shopping spree n perabih pitih...then we decided to go to NARATHIWAT! hhahahahaha ...gilo ....little did i expect it's gonna be that boring journey....30-minute drive from Tak Bai...and by the time we arrived there....all 3 of us (ijat, me and tikah) were ....AAAAAAA!!!! WAAAAAA!!! horghhhhhhh!!! cantekkkkkkkkk!!! and the rests were history ko senah .....masa tu la kami ter fikir...apsal la kita ni tak kaya.... * now we know* hahahahahhaha
we shop-hop till our knees were wilted! like so farkin' literally. hahahahha ...then off we went to the beach! (i dont even know how to pronounce it) for apa lagi.....MAKAN lah! tak hengat....bloated with fanta ijau..merah...abih semua kaler ada dalam perut...and my bladder pulak ..tak reti2 pegi skolah...asik nak tekench ja...minum a sip pun nak tekench! horghh...bad bladder....i had paprik ayam+daging =A MUST...sharmin had cambo...ijat kue teow..and tikah...all sorts of BALLS. hahahahah ... i think sharmin had photos taken ..will update with her later. as for me. aku tak larat beydah weiiiiiiii....the heat killed me. BUT NOT during shopping though. horghhhhhhhh~
I had a fun and stress-released day. seriously. thank u Allah for TODAY.
ada baaaaaaaaaaanyak tudung baru ....baju baru ...hahahahahaha...
Friday, December 9, 2011
for the past two days ive been feelin sick to my stomach. at people.
i'm tired of people who always find reasons when it comes to helping other people but demanding more than anything from others ...for the sake of their ass.
i'm tired of people who like to play God.
i'm tired of people who are simply self-centered bitches / bastards.
i'm tired of people who are lazy- ass and always cling onto others.
i'm tired of people who take advantages over others just because they are NICE!
i'm tired of jack-ass!
i'm tired of shitheads!
i'm tired of assholes!
i'm tired of pinheads/ dickheads / nutcases !
Sunday, November 27, 2011
hoyeahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! ive been Touched by Angels! Alhamdulilllllahhh..last submission tadik kul 1230noon kot...hahaha i went there with sepet eyes....can hardly open my eyes ....thanks to NO sleep at all!! hahahahahah bengong~ tapi memang tensen tahap gaban lah...kisah nya....dapat extension 2 days pun MAUT! luckily i managed to have it done ...shukur sangat Ya Allah....tade la beban seminggu ataeh bahu kepala badan kaki dan mulut ini ..heheheh
what am i gonna do tonite? MAKAN! TIDO! tu pun for tonite jek kiah ...esok kerja sudeh...water's gone ...the sun is out ...fahrin still single...anuar zain is DROP DEAD GOJES! hurgh! gila bayang sudeh...kemaruk ko kiah~~~ ha ha ha
and i was juz checkin my emails earlier ...I keep getting this "Leo Zaki invited you to Facebook" like ..who der ? i dont even know sapa la si Leo who ebor nih.....eiiiiii...rimaih tau dok ...apa ingat gmail account koi ni tempat ko curah spam mass invite ko? eeeiiishhhh...abu meroyan....tah sapa2...*but then again terdiam jugak a bit...mana la tau ..kot cigu skoloh lama ke yek ?* tapi apa ke bendang nya nama Leo Zaki...? tak kampung nyah...i prefer nama ..anuar ke .....ahmad ke ...zain ke...sulaiman ker...khennnnnnnnnnnn... ahahaha stok taleyblah *poyosh!*
nasib ko le Leo ...i am not really in the mood to think about ..what ebor....byk lagi kes2 jenayah luar sana aku nak settle...
now i wanna reward myself with some ICECREAMMMMMM!!! yahahahah and Ketam! Mudcrab! i so DESERVE those....
i got superlicious ketam....u got? ngehehehehe...hak pui! (hahahaha)
Thursday, November 24, 2011
wah! i'm surrounded by water! i can't go out. i can't go to my roti canai stall...i can't go jalan2...and the best thing is ..i can't go to work! hahaahaha hoyeah! at this point of time ...i do not really want to be at the office pun ..my heart is not there and Allah Helped! thank you Allah, You Indeed Knew Me Well. Hence, U Created me.
ha ha...now that am stucked at home ....I was REALLY stucked. Like no astro services too! No nothing ..my laundry has yet to dry ...for the past 4 days! and ...there was no SUNSHINE! ...hmmbbttthh...sungguh tidak gemilang ~ LUCKILY the streamyx is ON. if outta nowhere TM decides to give me the biggest headache EVER, that could be it! Shukur Alhamdulillah...i get to be online ..like 24 hours! since ....48 hours ago kot...hahahahha...mati la pening orang tm bertungkus lumus! and to my surprise...the ocean is on high tides too....Meaning ..........tonight ..air naik lagi lah....and this time around ....it's SALTWATER!! teng teng tengggggg!
meaning lagi...Lisa tak boleh kluar lah...sunday ni pegi keje ..naik bas merah lah...huhuuu...sabar je la....
and apart from accumulating fats during the day, i decided to ..perabih pitis ...aigh ....mampuih la ..beli itu and ini online ...die die....paper zurainee tak siap2 lagi pown....feel tak mari2 ...bila nak mari ..esok dah due ni ...mampuih~
the best solution is ..to never have a facebook. my life was in complete control before i resurrect facebook...ha ha yeah ..blame The Book...
as am typing this ..outside the water is rising ..and they are so many bitches outside. flirting and screaming in the water. gedik tul. it has become a culture here in the east coast..people would flock out ...out of nowhere to "serenade" the water. i can never comprehend why they would behave in such manner...dont they know the water is dirty? and they're prone to snakes attack or centipedes...and not like ular lidi occay....even cobra can be out ..coz their nests are flooded with water...it's super dangerous people...think of your life ...menyusahkan orang malam2 buta nak rush you to ER ...dah la kene redah banjir lagi....choii...buat kerja tak pikir panjang..
besides, it's bugging me ...when i can clearly hear people's voices laughing and giggling in front of our gates ...bitchy amat bunyi nye ...it's night time ....kucing aku nak tido. ngerti? plus depan rumah orang ko melepak..pehal der? tade tempat lain better meh ? kot yer pun nak jadi kupu-kupu malam...not in front of my house la pompuan...go elsewhere..pegi la cari tiang TNB lampu jalan yang sesuwai buat kamu....huh~
kan tak pasal aku dah beleter...i really despise such immoral act. I like hang outs too ..but not depan rumah orang wey...go find mamak's or kedai to minum and sembang la...at least thats the purpose orang bukak kedai...
now i need to figure out mcm mana nak semangat ni ....once it starts ..okay lah kot...
haisgh....rindu Temerloh tiba-tiba...
Monday, November 21, 2011
am stucked at home still. it's pouring like no tomorrow outside. to walk (or run) to the garage will definitely soak me out. and am not really in the mood to go to work pun....rasa nak tido je....
yesterday i was hyped. today i am lazy. I want to stay in bed ..if I could. tapi CRR and course file bertimvun nak kena settle. cemano....
sungguh tiada feel. dah la kene ngajar dpp dmm. lemao la aku pas ni. hazab sungguh bila buat keje semua terpaksa ni. dah aku memang takde feel nak buat kerja ngan dorang. they didnt want to learn...aku pun tak tau kenapa dorang datang sini ...buat perabih pitih jor....
mcm mana nak cari feel ni...........waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Saturday, November 19, 2011
after 3 years of waiting ..I finally get to realize my dream to another nature portfolio of mine ...working with the elephants. I have been eyeing for this opportunity for so long. Time after time I waited for my former elac to complete the plan, but to no avail. and this year ...the ending of 2011 marked a significant closure to me as I get to fulfill my dream - Elephant Conservation.
Definitely The Biggest Thanks and Grateful ever to Allah the Most Merciful and Giving for making this trip a reality. Our journey was so Blessed and Rewarded with many wonderful and memorable experiences.
November 17 ( Thursday)
I woke up early to prepare the sandwiches to the research team. I couldn't sleep anyways as I have been excited and nervous to embark on this long-awaited journey.
I started to pack my bag. I didnt want to pack earlier as am afraid I'd leave out many things. I ended up piling everything few days earlier ...and started to pack my bags the same morning, just to be safe. However...I still forgot my toothbrush and shower foam! hahaha...Thanks to Guardian and Ijat for the Courtesy shampoo and foams. heee :)
I was ready for Esiana to fetch and drop me off at the picking up point for the team. Everyone was late. and you know me. I was fuming. :)
Reached Wakaf Bharu train station despite the piling traffic jam. I was nervous we might miss the train and the chances of me burning down everyone was pretty much there. We jumped out of the transit and I took my last toilet visit ( my bladder is very bad these days) and the train was punctual. I got out from the washroom and everyone was ready with their gears.
Off to Mentakab on Senandung Timuran (I think..or was it Senandung Wau) of Keretapi Tanah Melayu Berhad. We took the second class seat. Nice and comfortable. Cold in the morning and it got heaty in the afternoon due to many moronic figures who like to open the door and puff cigarettes (yeah..they Stink!) First thing I did was to catch up on my nap. I slept. I guess ..all of us did. I woke up around 9am...still in the same state and starving. We all took our sandwiches and chat for a while before we slept ..*again* haha there's nothing much that we can do, it's a train, not-so fast moving train with lots of typical malays ..who like to scream, smoke cigarettes and listening to loud bollywood music! *sigh* i don't mind colors...but I do mind too much noises that disturb other people's sleeps / rests. oh-well~
By 1230-ish noon, train stopped at Gua Musang Station and we saw Kuala Koh's PERHILITAN Deputy Superintendent Encik Walid hopping the train for JB trip. What a small world. and he was just a seat away from us. What do you expect? of course ...More CHATS! hahaha ...till I fell asleep.
by 2pm it was getting unbearable and annoying. too much of smoking activities around. my head was spinning and the heat was killing. dem stupid M. i hate people who do not respect others and pretty much self centered B****d who only think of themselves. How I wish the train just ejected them off! seriously~
Arriving at Mentakab by 3pm was hilariously strange and witty too. I had to rush to the ladies ( as usual ) to entertain my active bladder. and I walked out to chill while waiting for our homestay owner to fetch us. Then came a lady who's leaning towards me and some guy was busy snapping our photos. THAT's Freaky. I received a phone call from the landlord telling me he was going to be late and the next thing you know this lady and a man was tagging me and snapping photos of mine. I turned around to avoid them and she KEPT following me! freaky! hahahahah and it turned out ...THEY were our landlord! hadoii....takut nyah ...I was a stranger in an alien town. haisgh...jgn melawak cam tu ...kecut perut den...(pen-takut jugak rupa nya ya? hahahaha) giler ko tak takut, people'd do anything these days.
We stopped at Cendol bes giler shop and I walked to Guardian to get me toothbrush! hehehe and rode home in a hilux with Angah to see the Homestay.
The house is on a HILL. the view was uber beautiful. the surrounding hills were of the same level with my eyes. everything was so perfect. I was literally in clouds. and the fogs ...the view...the sunset....everything was Perfect. SubhanAllah...the view was so picturesque. all the stresses from home ..just melt away.
Dinner was served. Patin gulai tempoyak. The rests were History. ALL was SUPERB and MAGNIFICENT!
I started the session alone as Ijat was down with major headache. pity her. I didnt take too much time as I wanted them to have full rest before the project the next day. by 1030pm I was already in my pj to sleep. beautiful sleep.
guess where I was for the weekend?
In the JUNGLE the mighty Jungle ...the lion sleeps toniteee ...WEEEeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeee mamboiiiiii....awimbawek awimbawekkk...hahahahahhahaha
YEzzza!! I spent my time at Kuala Gandah Elephant Conservation Center!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
one down. one to go. sempat ke pagi esok nak send ni? huhu...menggelupur den ...seb baik la sok cuti ...I owe Ku Yeh BIGTIME for this keputeraan ...else i wont be able to keep the lines...kot....huuuuuuuu....thank u Abe. wah! getek...
now let's get back to the second paper..i couldnt find the ONLY copy of my playwright la globbie...what to do ..guess i have to prepare another Adaptation la kei....PADE MUKO....wooo....tu la nyanyuk lagi...sipey kertas banyok-banyok.....pah lo ni ....sengih la...
huu....i am tired...but i have to write few more hours before i get my sleep and continue writing tomorrow morning...huu......oh Abe....sedih beraso~ huu~~~
Saturday, November 12, 2011
huwargghh...if i can scream...i would have...sangat stressed occay ..kerana padan muka ...sapa suruh buat lambat...sapa suruh tak feel ...
the fact that i lost my adaptation playwright's of my Taming of The Shrew...I have to go and dig it somewhere in the office. I rescued that hardcopy version ..and as usual ..being a pron-brainer...I forgot where did I KEEP it. hee :} somehow my gut says...I keep it in my file....in my cubicle.. horrgh...mingggggggggggggggg minggggggggggggg selamatkan saya....huu.....padan muka ko~
gotta pakai baju decent....n go selongkar office...haigsh...
still...padan muka...*bak kata Chef Wan...hoooorgghh...*
HRH SULTAN MUHAMMAD V
TENGKU MUHAMMAD FARIS PETRA IBNI SULTAN ISMAIL PETRA
heyyo globbie! salammm...
hmm...thanks to that cool dude up there...I got TWO days of Public Holiday! hehe ...yeah ..Today is Hari Keputeraan Sultan Muhammad V (i do not really know what is the difference between Keputeraan and Birthday..as he was born on October 6th, 1969 ..oh well..) still .....chomey kan Tuanku? I wish for you to be in the pinkest of health ..ever...always humble ...and awesome with rakyats. Do go down more often to see the kampungs (maybe i can give u a treat of baked kampung macaroni one day) ..haha plus.. ...hopefully I do not have to dream of you anymore.. he he he ...me n my poyo statement...keep being cool and rawk on. -he he statement makan hati boh~
Long Live the King and semoga Allah Bless your pemerintahan...with prosperous years ahead and cute and hardworking rakyats like me! he he :) ngaa~
ok..ok....back to work! deadline in less than 24hours! *debush*
Friday, November 11, 2011
I have a longg day to ponder on few things today. one of 'em is how Good are We? What is Our Grade? How do we Justify our Grade? is My A better than Your A? Is Grade that Viable to us?
the past few days I have been seeing people change Colors ...for the sake of Power and Status. People Could not make a stand on their own ...but rather Use Others in order to Risk to be Blamed on. People are busy camouflaging themselves ...for the sake of Not facing the Battle Eye-to-Eye, therefore They do not have to Die.
it's filthy wrong. Because of it ..one loses friends, trust, love and Respect. Again, How much is Grade mean to you? Are you willing to sacrifice honor, friendship and loyalty...for It? What is Honor when you Tilt whenever you like...? what is Friendship when you do not even care or Pretended you didn't know what they Feel...? what is loyalty...when you cannot even stand up for Yourself?
There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.
how good are we in Knowing our own Conscience? Sometimes, we act like we Know it All yet we are bluntly masquerading. Saying to the world we are Rescuing, whereby what we were actually doing were Running and Saving our Own Back.
Did we ever feel Guilty for Not being True to ourselves? Did we realize we were not being Fair to Ourselves?
The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right.
Indeed. The fact we were in that Rank...was because of a Duty. to Make Things Right...and Justice for All. Not individuals. The Eyes are Big enough to See what is Obviously Wrong...yet when they Refuses to Reflect the Truth and Fairness....do not blame the World for shrinking and ripping it all apart. we can only run ...but we can never hide. for what goes around...will inshaAllah come around.....
Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
Exactly. Values will uphold us come what may. Whereby Success only makes a Man further delusional in That Position and Assume that Everything is Right.
I wish to see More Values realized, and more Justice Uphold. If it takes this Life to exchange for a Revelation ...by all means....I am All Ready.
May Truth Prevail.
i received an sms from my PHEA, a forwarded sms ..from H..regarding Sahabat Farhan Radzi ..former KTD ..ex Dublin BS. I never teach him. Only knew him through Wandy ...former DDW..ex ktd...ex Teesside's. He was once a Student to me, prior to his journey to Eire. Came and joke with me even ( not many know how to joke with me ..especially when they are not in my lectures) and ...keeping the story short...he graduated from DBS coming back and "pretended" not knowing me at all. bumped into me at college events or H events...and I was invisible to him...to the extent of i was right in front of him...i was only droplets of air dispersing in front of him.... "wow" the product of so called ...Muslim Abroad. Ever since that ...I put myself away from him. thinking that he really knew how to put me under his Feet...oh well...a former teacher...after all.
day by day, my RAM erased the memory of having a student with the name of Farhan Radzi. I grew accustomed to the fact that ...Farhan Who? - as an adult who teach other people's children; I was Deeply Offended.
today. i received the news of him suffering from heart infection with 40% of the organ functioning and currently undergoing treatment in metro hospital.
Dear Allah : I Honestly did not feel A thing. Not because I hate him. Not because I want bad things happen to him. Not because I do not Feel. - I do Not Know What to Feel.
I have Moved on. Forgiving people who Hurt me in the Past. Unfortunately I am Only Human. Sometimes, It is never easy to Forget.
May Allah Provides what is Best for him for Only Allah Knows.
Me? I just want to Move on.
I'm precariously Tired.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
i was down with course review report (CRR) course today. all the MQA...MQF...MQR...WTF...hahahahhahahah ops! aku memang tade keje sungguh aih ...ada ja benda aku nak merepek today.. i was actually stressed and tired. i ended up giggle me problem away with stupid jokes and merepek. adding salt to the wound...i am on my mense....haigh...bummer...hehehe...
just now ..i texted suhaib..my kuis student. whom i bumped into earlier at the fax machine but i didnt have the energy to greet nor chit chat. my face was tired and blue anyways. *mcm semurf!* hehehe
and i saw him in ym ...then i said hello and ...this is his last semester here. my batch is graduating. my kuis batch.. awww :( sebak nyah....
they're all growing up....and they are all leaving....soon.
suhaib said "terima kasih kerana selalu mendoakan ana..." " semoga cik sha di rahmati Allah selalu " huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....haku dah sebakkk....................and in the end aku nangis macam orang bodo kat skrin wofsha ni .....i realized i love my students very much. like...Very...
every time a batch graduates....bercupak cupak itu jugaklah air mata aku jatuh berguguran....thinking of the fact they will be gone ...and will no longer see their smiles....hear their laughter....enduring their whines.....
and that Love is Immeasurable...
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
nguahahaha..tetiba la si aji ni jadi my topic. upon reading cik pa's anonymous comment so called...she did mention how the tapah clanz ..asked of me..nguahahahha standard ..mana2 aku pi ..mesti tinggai kenangan indah kat mamok- mamok tu ....oh Momok...ha ha ....
and i still vividly remember...how much nasi kandaq sumpah sodap gile aku consumed when i visited Pa and nget ...this year....GILER OSOMMMMM.....aku rasa kilo aku increased drastically higher..thanks to those chicken of tapah clanz...haha...
and tadi ...since Pa mentioned Hj tapah.....did u know what i do globbie? i bukak la mozarella i....brozer la ...mozilla...haa...then...i typed "Hj Tapah" .....- guess what......GILER NKO! Hj Tapah is Googleable! muhahahahahha aiyo ....got link here and there of Hj Tapah...people wrote highly of his chicken....CHICKEN goreng ...sumpah sedap itu...and BESAR PUNYOO...kalu makan aku n Pa mosti dua...MOSTI ...DUA! ha ha ...tetiba i felt what i ate earlier was no longer wonderful...coz there is NO friggin' way I can find ayam goreng as superlicious as Hj Tapah.....
oh Mamokkk....anneyyyyyyy....machaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ai mih yuuu....kah kah kah kah kah -bengong.
anyhow ...when am in BSP again....i will definitely visit Tapah ngan sebungkuh kopok dari kelate. hahahahahha.... (reti ke dia makan ?)
ha ha bengong mung mek sha~
Monday, November 7, 2011
what a BAD BAD ...BAD eating day ...he he he ...i was invited to aqiqah today ..(as mentioned earlier on) and there they were...THE FOOD...on the table...mak aii...siap ada budu petai n tempoyok! oleh kerana koi ni ...menahan napsu setan....koi pun didnt take all those heartburning-eating-and-die food la kan....ah baddennnn~ i took...(and ATE..somehow using the word "consume" will not seem to help me letting me guilt go) a plate of SUP tulang....the purpose of using a plate instead of a BOWL is to avoid sipping too much bone marrow soup! of which gonna kill me ...ahbaddennn~ I just have to take those tulang and fleshy meat around 'em...juicy tendons...and the rests were history! mak berdosa nyah! gilo sedap makan! oh Syaitan Durjanoooo...
I came back ...after dropping by some of the baked macaroni to Gapi and friends...thot of singgah-by Rosy's place to hang out ..but tak jadi ...so i made my way home ..feeling ..Heavy. what do u expect? makan like crazy....dush! and i bungkam baek punyo! huhuhu ijat texted me..and i couldnt care less....i can only read but my mind was too damn heavy to reply. sheesh~ tahana daging sedap...so Setan.
now am awake and i think i should suck lime to ease off this -whatever-. i wonder how many limes will i be needing? sekilo kowt...with this -whatever-. urghh...lemao ....
i think i better get back to tv...first! hahahahah I know ...I know ...I have a LOT of readings to catch up and write up to finish ...but one needs to chill first....to generate ideas....so-called.
ha ha ha ha
pagi teringat kat Abe Yeh...now teringat kat Fahrin ...boleh? kah kah kah ..gila poyo fantasy.
Boleh Blah wofsha! horgh!
and again ..we are celebrating eid ul adha...in kelantan ..it's like a mardi gras...of slaughtering cows and buffaloes.... and meats are simply..e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e~! I guess it;s everywhere kot in malaysia...but in Kelantan especially...the eid is supa duppa serabut. too many people as compared to eid ul fitr, too much meats on the table, too many cookings going on in the kitchen till u cant even have a beautiful pancake for breakfast!, too many makciks- dunno-where-they-come from, too many keypochees...and wannabees....
as for me, I became busy attending people's aqiqah lah..open house lah..sister's gearbox party laa....which ..aku tak makan pun. freaky. mikirkan jantung and segala benda in my stomach ...and of tos....FAT....aku pun telan air lior....beli la egg waffle vanilla kunyah lam kete ...drive around dalam ujan.....gigit le 2 keping hati goreng...and thats all....(however i DID consume ..CHICKEN! hahahaha)
and in about 2 hours time..i am getting ready to another aqiqah cum bekwoh somewhere nearby pc area...ho ho....makan lagi....and buah tangan am bringin? nguaaa...baked macaroni. simple. waiting for the TING! and me all set to melenggang~ ngeee...
by the way..tadi on my way back sending off me dad..me passed by Qurban event...attended by Tg Faris ...Sultan Muhammad V....hoigh...me salivated terberangan jap kat situ ..jumpa Abe Yeh...hahahahhaha...KOYA!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
it's Bright! and awesome today. i wish i have the time to do laundry and dry everything out in the sun....but hell...i was too hooked up with work and stupid meeting ( yeah...now the meeting is stupid...) ha ha tonight obviously i have to burn every oil i got ..to finish up my boys' and girls' markings ...for tomorrow's key-in. haigh...letihhh...now i feel like sleeping...but i have to be at the airport ..in about an hour's time...horgh....padan muko ...
ngantuk. penat. ngantuk lagi. sangap. single.
and Bored. :)
i was asked to do this annoying job so called that was against my Will ...or suffice to say ..my liking...
i do not believe in that. and I have to do it...(as it is going to be AN ORDER) for saving someone else's ASS! or easier to write as to be someone's Dog. The person got Name...I got Shit...
i hate what i have to do now.
saying no will definitely mean self-destruction.
saying yes is low.
Do I have to be like Them?
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
waigh ...so much of the fairytale wedding ...E News! hasn't finished airing those show...and she's ALREADY filing for divorce???!!! c'mon~~ did you have TOO much money till u didn't know how to spend meh? whoalaweyy....giler sei~
what is going on with this World......
Monday, October 31, 2011
DO YOU KNOW THAT GRASSHOPPERS HAVE FIVE EYES?
haa...kau ada? hahaha I LOIKE! cool ass grasshoppers! they have 2 compound eyes (yang BESAR punyo tuuu) and 3 smaller ones. they don't have EARS ( haa...kau ada kan...kan ...kan? haha). Though no ears, they CAN hear! haaaa ni kita semua memang tade...ada telinga pun tak berapa nak Dengar...inikan pulak tade telinga....am I rite? sendri mo ingat lei~ and inside those eyes...got plenty more smaller eyesssss.....whoaaaaaaaaaaaa..now am speechless... *figgin' amazin' dudeeeeee" - AWESOME.
bila la ada Orang nak entice aku ngan citer2 cenggini? hmmm....*maut*
huhu ...today i kicked off a discipline Ops and Cik Izzati was the ONLY person who wanna team up. or was it because she has to? hahaha ....i think she wants to. and to my dismay I have plenty of offenders and i did something real bad today. I threat a student for being RUDE to me. I kicked his ass real bad.
Do you know who i really wanna kick the damned ass? am sure you know globbie....oh yeah..u pretty damn well knew ..who the heck i wanna give a kick...
what i have encountered for the past days...or precisely written here as "experienced" for the past few days...were mind boggling. one discovers truth in order to know More Truth. EXACTLY.
to me..friends are for KEEP. Forever. Till Death DO us part. it's hurtful to see One Goes.
also, it is better than living with One.
Friday, October 28, 2011
huhu..my hand..right hand is currently smeared with henna now. so red..i loike...
today he woke me up with his routine morning sms. huhu...sorryla dear..you're a boy to me...to talk to u often will definitely upgrade u to a man..and i dun think i wanna be That Upgrader...tak pasal je la kan globbie...
i wondered why do i keep attracting the young ones!? haishhh...i must have woken up on the wrong sides of the beds...like almost my entire life! kann..?
hadoi..such a hazab day la when i hv the boy with me...and i cant get rid of him....huhu...he would be hurt if he knows i dont really wanna be there...but i am sure he doesnt wanna be there too...(then why was he there again?) yeah...dead meat. hahaha. if only he is a man instead of a boy...i might have considered.cewah..ayat poyo..
oh well globbie....i dont think he is the one anyways. after all my heart beat was normal when he was around. unlike ...some people :) kan globbie? That Person can literally rip my lungs apart whenever he is around....ooo yupz....couldnt agree more. sigh....well now ..i haven't found the same beat anymore....i guess i need to venture even...further... hoh?
the Moon is not the same ...nimor~
this is the week where I think i juz wanna sleep it off..till next week. i have to learn to be patience ...and deal with those people who are really ...true..asses...he he ..
carut lagi ..haha takde makna nya kan ?
today one of my students was somewhat clingy to me. aku da bosan. i know am nice. and i know am good. but i dont have to tell the world la kan...and once i highlighted it ...it will be an absolute curse to me....he was nice asking me this and that.....but he is just my son. nothing more than that.i have more works to do now than ever. MQA is killing...and tonite I juz dont feel like doing anything.
I juz wanna sleep.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
tiba2 teringat ayam goreng hj tapah ...bleh dak? hahaha ..me n food ..are so synonymous... hence the Fat. hee :)
for the past few days i have been busy with students affairs cases ...and academic affairs yang tak berkesudahan...and I came across a cynical ustaz ...the one i bumped at Pataya Village tu ...he had the cheek! to ask me rudeeeeeeee questions the other day that made me wanna drop his waterface la kan..but me being me....people can do or say whatever they want to me...as usual...i will "bertahan" ...coz my Mak always pesan ....."jangan buat kat orang...biar la orang nak buat kat kita pun .." seb baik Mak aku yang pesan ...else...? haaa....some jackass can be SO ...frikkin' annoying.
there i was saving the worlds of my students ...and came this pancreas - heated issue of me n him. aiya...so fak-fes u know...but then ..of course i didn't curse that to his face la...sbb My Mak dah pesan! huh....why did I ever listen anyways ? - Right!
i received 2 new cases to defend...mcm lawful act je bunyi kan ? more or less lah....and I am working too damn hard till I almost sleep at McD ...last nite...( ahuh....yet again...)
i believe Human changes. I believe in 2nd chance...3rd...or even 4th! it's all about TRYING and putting up EFFORT. am I rite? so when people want to change ..or Start to ...we Shouldn't Let go.
No. We should Not.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
haigh ...cant wait for the holiday weekend to turn up ... i need a SHORT vacation to thailand to makan2 and perabih pitih! haha suka lar~
and today ...of the many days again...my Prof keeps harassing me on getting married! and the Old Ustaz Mohammad is urging me to go for umrah ...under his tour agents....haigh...PENINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG...apa la masalah korang ni ....sapa yg tak nak kawin? sapa tak nak pi mekah? abaq mai!
my morning was retarded.
and today I keep seeing people updating their facts and stories on thailand visit. HECK! jeles nye ..aku nak pi gakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk cepat la sopek balik....let's go perabih pitih....
haha and no am not gonna put up the photos in the blog as of plethora of net users are doing it nowadays. aku nak nek bot..nak pi perabih pitih..nak pi jolimakan...and of tosh ..joli kain ! am in the mood of making lots of baju kurungs now. melaram kak nam ! ha ha
its almost 2 am ..and am awake. what the hell am i doing up so late? chatted to Gapi earlier. sweet as always. feeling sorry for him to be overshadowed by his brother. i sorta like knew what is it like being that.... but gapi loves his brother very much and vice versa. it's the fact that gapi has to stay under his limelight stuffed him... oh well gapi ...that's life ...no matter what ...Angah is still Angah ..who loves you to bits!
i wonder esok topic apa plak..PREGNANCY?!
sigh....mkn tak kenyang..tido lena..mandi basah lencun ......
apakah tanda nya?
ko bela hantu raya ke apa? kata kawan ku...*hazabbb*
Sunday, October 23, 2011
half of my morning was spent on being a defense lawyer. with red eyes.
to be honest..am tired of being lawyer..but i am left with no option. if i didnt help them ..who would? after all it is partially my job to ensure they are ...assisted? hurgh...i dont know globbie...
i am sleepy and tired from today. my prof adviced me to sleep early..like at 10pm..till 2am..and wake up for tahajjud at 3 onwards....haigh....betui ka aku ni globbie.....
today too marked the day where prof spoke of marriage lagi...aigh...tak larat nak explain of why am still un-married at this point of time...
globbie..aku rindu kampung emers...aku rindu tune bagels...aku rindu salji northeastern...aku rindu kawan2 aku kat situ....bila orang asyik citer pasal kawin2 ni ...aku jadi lemao la...i am tired of listening to the lectures....kot ye pun nak match make aku ...jgn la ingat aku ni desperado....huuu ...
globbie...am tired of being matchmade too...why cant these people be at rest...and just leave me ...with the M issue ...alone....i already have enough serabut in my kepala...adding M is just another brain sedated mode....kesian kat aku weiiiiiiiiiii...tamo la cakap pasai kawin lagiiiiiiiiiiiiii....
sigh...apa nak jadi tatau la...
cepat la balik sopek..kita pi jalan2 makan angin kat siam..aku dah bosan duk sini..semua orang cakap pasai menikah ja....ingat aku ni hati batu ka? takdak napsu ka?hish....bengong ah....
sometimes ...i am restless...
most of the times...rasa nyesal gak balik sini...
Friday, October 21, 2011
here's my to do list for tomorrow onwards..*sigh*
1) utm coursework
2) MQA files!!!
3) EP proposal! *die die*
4) 5S!!!!! forever tak siap2...dang~
5) new communication module for lower secondary holiday break program *die - sapa nak execute nih seme orang sabbatical? aku lagi? dush!! *
6) THREE write ups! ONE independent research!! and one helluva time to complete as the datelines are Nov 10th!!! (all FOUR of 'em!)
7) IF i survive those, I must be TOUCHED by ANGELS ..like so many of 'em! and I DESERVE a complete thai meal at Pattaya Village / Mud Crabs Rendezvous nearby the river hut / Mr Cook ( the least...)
8) die! die! die!
today had a longgggggg talk with Ayah. he's gonna buy a new car...hisgh...biar betik....tetiba nak beli kereta baru ...I already have mine..and i do not think there is a need for another one. but he insist. haa...sapa nak jawab ni beydah...takkan aku nak drive dua...buat hoover craft? ngaa~ oh well....as far as I know ...there is no additional members in the family...none from me ..the least....now I wonder why....ha ha ....
I was supposed to be at the office today ..despite it's Friday...but i did not go. haaa ...talk about Lazy and Lazy. hee :) oh ya!! last night I had dinner with my niece ...at Pattaya Village...and I bumped into That Ustaz. ngohohoho~ getek eh? sabo je la abu....
i didnt expect it was him as i stared at him ..THRICE! ha ha ...it IS (WAS) him. we picked a table and little did we know ..HIS was NEXT TO US! coz he was talking on the phone outside the restaurant.....hadoii....hazabeydah....like a cheeky mouse...big ..fat cheeky mouse... I grin :) poyo-ish...oh shucks...nothing happen. REaLLy.....hahaha
had a SUPERB meal and scrumptious aphrodisiac...EEL! ha ha seriously...i will be back for more...and this time ..with no Ustaz around! -hopefully.
meals were too delicious ..we didn't snap photos. ( or was it malu at that Ustaz? ) dush! hahaha stop it~
it's 5pm...no point of going to the office....i guess ..the work is delayed to ..TOMORROW...
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
i am sleepy. already. i woke up at 9pm..for some drinks...and now it's 1130pm and I should be going to bed ..real soon. If i wanna make it tomorrow morning.
I currently do not have a proper routine schedule as I am so messed up with researches and loads for current semester and those MQA files need to be completed. haiyarghh....How i wish i can stop the time...*yawn*
to even cleanse my colon out ..I would have to make an appointment with mr T...isnt that ...screwed? I do not know how will I be like if am married and have children. work..husband...kids..poops..diapers...aigh...seriously? -phbttt...
in lecture earlier today, I was satisfied with my DDE's performance. Afiq..Ahmad Afiq and his opening speech of my DEAR cik Sha...awwww....sho shweet...the reason he chose the word "dear" is because I didnt like the word "beloved". It has become a cliche in most presentation WORLDfrikkinWIDE... so i told them off ....not gonna be easily bought with all cliches...and Afiq changes beloved to Dear...how chomel.....as usual...it is indeed a pleasant honor ... *horgh* :)
and Rusydan was simply amazing with his spider facts...and Muiz ...bajet ensem as usual...syaafiq and his underwear madness...Uwais with his lovelife-pang facebook...and fatmi the cheeky, flamboyant nerd...ha ha ...everyone was amazing. suka kan? bila u get outcome yang indah and tak sakit pankreas cenggini.....rasa macam...with a huge tall glass of pineapple sorbet..tepi laut...horgh...hahahahha
by the way ..do you know that hippo's milk is PINK?
haaa....kau ada? he he he
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
hoigh...finally! i got to lazy on a weekend...saturday to be exact. I had class till 3pm yesterday and dropped by at Pakar Perdana for a short visit. checked on my nieces...and had some desserts at The Warrior's Station, where coincidentally the game with Terengganu was held and I got stucked in the parking lot. Foods at TRW? hmm..boleh la...so so ...didnt order the full meal course as I have already had lunch ...Chamim and I had ice creams instead. chit chatted a bit and there was this alphard-look-a-like parked next to mine ..DAG 10 ..pergh...so vip the number...i thought he was just some frantic kelantanese supporter...there I was confidently approached him to move his car to the right as I might not be able to squeeze in later. ha ha to my freakin surprise..he walked in TRW and nonchalantly said to me.. " kalau tak lepas, I ada kat dalam ye.." LOL...nak gelak pun ada nak kentut pun ado hahaha ...but my face managed to control all and i juz said " thank you.." KAH KAH KAH...really ...
whoever he is....thank you for being A MAN ...a Gentleman...I'd say ....(no there's no flirting lines there....nice try...ha ha )
in the midst of the crazy kelantan game ...i managed to squeeze meself out of the hocus pocus...drove home ...(instead of McD) and straight home ...and spent my Saturday..loafing like tak hengat donia....gosh..now i still have KUIS coursework to key in the vault room way freakin early tomorrow morning before Hj Rahim kill me. hehehe I am literally the LAST PERSON key-ing in all those results. heee :) sorry Gen, my rebellious mode is Super-On. :)
now ...i guess i will burn the whatnots oil I have....to finish tallying up all these marks...haigh....served me right. :)
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
my days seem numbered...for him..it's numbered to meet his Creator...for me..numbered seeing him off...as early as 1215pm I have been alerted of his seizures and rushed to ICU. my sister had gone nuts...my nieces were as fast as a concorde jet...and I...didnt know really what should I do. I drove off after class to Perdana. Dad told me not to go to Azalea's as he is now in ICU. how should I react? I went there in silence.
I saw him. saw my sister first. earlier at the ICU ward some chinese couples thought I was a doctor. yikes...ada rupa ke? yucks...and I told them "sorry...am visiting too.." and with a worry smile ...i met up with my sister and he was (again) rushed to ct-scan room. all along I have been wondering how does he looks like in that commotion...(macam dalam movie tu ke...?) would i cry?
we waited outside of The Room eagerly wondering. at that point of time ..I really need to talk to someone, However I have no clue of whom. well i can't lie to you globbie...that "he" did come across my mind...I Miss the time when I can talk to him about anything. Now, I can never do the same. Now, I'm just Alone. (How pathetic, aren't I?)- yea, I know... *sigh*
As I was putting some senses into my head (of how LONELY I was) The Door was opened. they pushed him out. (damn...sebijik macam dalam House...) I glanced in jugak...just incase ...u know... the kinda Gregory-House might be in there...for 2 seconds maybe? huh..tade pon... what was I thinking? sheesh...too much TV...astaghfirullah...
we rode the elevator up to the ICU ward again...and accompanied him. I saw his face. red and unmoving. like...soul-less..in a way ..barely breathing. saw his vital machine...and everything is soo...House...I was cold.or Cold maybe.inside. for a fleeting moment...I pictured myself in that bed. and there I was ...Crying, inside. Will I grow Old and Alone? I do not think I want to anymore.
I wanna wake up in the morning in someone's arm.
I wanna be sick and have someone's hand stroking mine.
I wanna open my eyes and see My Love is adoring me, no matter what.
I wanna spend my entire life with The One.
problem is : How the HECK am i gonna find One?
Saturday, September 24, 2011
he he ..I had a great day today. went out for kayak with my junior engineering boys. Fantabuluous!
we started off from the jetty a bit shaky...then off to the first pit stop nervously (for me) because the river is deeper than the usual's today. more than 100ft depth with God Knows width. We stopped at our first stop for water confidence. there, I saw my boys in various colours. I am Happy. to see THEM ...happy, laughing and giggling away. I have never seen them so happy.
and all of them were actually talking and mingling! and Jufri is just...amazing. He can actually TALK! ha ha ...and berak of course...Norm is no longer the shyboy...said nasri even...and zaidi ..TALKS too!!! oMg....hahahaha ...I love when I got what I want. and today...I got 'em way too much.
thank You Allah.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
i was in my engineering class this morning when I received a call. i have not been feeling good these past few days. yeah..I had a Heartache. As a result from constant stupidity. huh ..gile best ayat...
ok back to the phone call. i was about to start the lecture when my raspberry rang...huhu...then I heard my former elac's voice. told him i was in the midst of lecture and will return the call later. as i was invigilating the test...I took the chance to text him and asked what's up? and the answer was - nothing much, I just wanna hear your voice Cik Sha, I wish you all the best and be happy Cik Sha: and tears rolled down ma cheek. like Literally Rolling. One simple Thought, one simple Honest Thought...makes a HUGE different. That is a person who Respect the teacher and knows how to display the affection. at least to me that's what it was (is). Sincere and Plain.
and that was ENOUGH to make me feel like THE TEACHER OF THE CENTURY! HE HE
and when i told Ijat about that story, her remark was "mesti u nangis kan? u nangis tak? hehe yang local reti jugak nak ingat, yang dah pergi uk tak ingat-ingat pun ye ..." - TEBABOOOM~
the only words i managed to utter was "tu la tu.."
and I walked off to another lecture, where my other groups of students of the century!!! were waiting.
Thank you for Making me Feel so Special...
Sunday, September 18, 2011
*sigh* I had a Fun weekend. Really enjoying my time with my friends. However when I walked into one of my classes today...I was kicked in the back with some stupid Lecturer who do not know how to Clean up the board. It really kills me. To see this kinda attitude at work. Pemalas GILER ko. tak de ethics eh? failed ke paper tu masa U dulu? bengong~
I ended up lecturing to my students on how to become an Ethical ADULT! ha ha ...aku pun gilo jugok...takde keje ....but I have to teach them to understand Life at some point...and being a good human is one of the traits. so Listen up people!
I spent at uber-nice belut meal shop with my buddy. it was awesome...pueh hati makan....i tell u ..( makan lagi yek? haha ...suka lar~)
now am listening to Dayang ...layan jiwang..almaklum la...am on the losing side...khennn.......
And tomorrow? hari Melaram day! saje~ hahaha
and Liqa day.
and hopefully hujan day! hoyeah~
Saturday, September 17, 2011
i think i met my chow yuen fatt today ...ngahahahahaha ..gile best! for the first time in my life (after a while!) I feel so vibrant and I can smile at people! hehe...( i meant to say ..FLIRT) hahahahah
having the opportunity to be on the Kingdom of Siam today was really a funtime I could spend with my friends. from the boatride, to the foods ..the bombing ...and crazy stuff to SHOP! the place is Awesome. No wonder people from outside of kelantan would wanna go there...it's CRAZY cheap and FUN to buy things...an they serve MUCH better FOODS over there. HALAL even! haaa...
Our next jalan-jalan cari pasal? Munduk town ....where? SIAM again! hahaha ...gosh I'm counting days...
Friday, September 16, 2011
whoaa...it's been couple of days now ...almost to a week huh ....well I was down with severe migraine. had to cancel my lectures and events. it was really...awful. and today I think I can be on my feet again ..Alhamdulillah Allah for This Blessing...
as usual my weekend routines are spent with a lil bit of joy and games and makan with friends...good food ..osom people ...err..sometimes annoying too....hiks! what to do ...its Life after all....full of whatnots! he he
and I'll be crossing over the border to Siam tomorrow. Meeting my Thai friends for a short get together and GUESS WHAT???!! makan-makan lah apa lagi ..hahaha ...jealous? hey ..it's My Life and Money.....memang la kau ada...tapi kau takde aku dalam hidup kau...ngerti? hahahaha i'm badddddddd..... oh well...life goes on. right bloggie? (angguk-angguk)
i feel so damn good today ..(after those turbulence in ma head..) and I just walk with so much pride and love inside. :) suka~ because today I rasa ...I am a human with so much Love inside and it is just a HUGE LOSS to SOME PEOPLE. period. ( oh- and It Felt so GOOOOODD when you didn't give it to The Wrong One...Alhamdulillahhhhh)
one might be wondering ..why didn't i put some photos in here ...cheer up a bit ...put some colors...yadda yadda yadda....hahaha learned me lesson hor ....no more photos. not because am too gorgeous to share...but my life is Precious. titik. ( jangan salah pronounce lak hahaha haru ko beydah.....)
I honestly Feel a LOT better.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Hati ini terguris ..kerana kau sengaja Menyakiti
Hati ini terguris... Kerana kau sengaja Menghancurkan
Hati ini terguris... kerana kau sengaja buat ku Menjauhi
Hati ini terguris... kerana Kekejaman kau
Hati ini terguris... kerana kau terlalu Egois
Hati ini terguris... kerana kau telah lupa akan Budi Pekerti
Hati ini terguris ... kerana kau terlalu Yakin Diri
Hati ini terguris ... kerana kau tidak lagi ku kenali.
Jangan pernah Kembali.
salam namaste! huhuhu ...dah kene sawan hindi lak dua tiga hari ni ...sabo je le ye....heheheh
I have an okay weekend.....down with terrible migrain and mense cramps...i opted for Bowling ...to ease the pain. how? dont even ask me...went out with ijat n usen to melontor. havent seen usen in a while..as am choked with schedules and him with his as well. let's wish him to reach his graduation line with first class. i bet he'll be flying! ha ha ....right sein...
and tonite i did something that will definitely hurt my ego. oh yet again~ bla bla bla...i keep telling myself .. i have reason for doing so. YEAH RIGHT. hahaha ...oh well..once the program is done. i shall revert to square one. now that am busy ...i shall try to be professional. huhu ....crap~
tomorrow is a-nother day. Day of me not wanting to be there. but I am starting to love my students for this new batch. what can i do? love conquers ALL.
~things I do for Love. *sigh*
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
i was really starving. the heat juz added up every single thing.
next thing I knew I was already at the mall. ( really?!) hahahahahaha.... it was fun. loitering alone and stuffing yaself with good food. I found that Life is very Rewarding lately. :)
thank you Allah.
Great food. Good time. Good Cheese! (kantoi! hahaha great Beer~ (Root lah) and Magnificent Cheesecake...Raspberry....errmmmyummzz..... better than loving a man...
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
many have been alerted thru the news ..of the demise of Allahyarham Noramfaizul, Bernama's staff in somalia. My condolence to the family. It must have been Hard for them. No money can replace the Life of a Husband, no grants can replace the Life of a Father...no nothing can replace the Life of a son...but when it is time...It's Time. Not a Second late...
I do not know why am personally Touched by this. But upon reading the news and coverage about him, it's just wrenching~
Those Who Left Are Now Heading...There~
Us Who Live Need to Move On and Find our Way...There~
Friday, September 2, 2011
hehehe salam bloggie,
am about to go to bed when i decided to jot a few lines in here..
i am starting to be very dependent on Luke eversince I own it ..and it makes me somehow addicted to type in works and also my thoughts. :)
oh well...i came across a very annoying person. huh..not that i pray for that person. it just happened that person appeared. and started to annoy ...people ( me to be exact) hoh~
oh well ( see how i have been sighing?) i annoyed but i had to deal with it. suck-it-in isnt really in my plan...but dang ..i hate it when i have to.
now am in the have-to mode. hoh ..can't wait for tomorrow to come so i can do my laundry, conquer the lines, folding, ironing and by the time u knew it ..I'll be in Office ..IN NO TIME! huhu!
will look forward to key in all the marks, dealing with all sorts of troubles, checkin on my PAs, working on all those progress reports....licking the stamps...( yeah...i do that too...) and oh ..dinner reservation! macam takde mood je pown ....sabar je la anggerik...
huh..mata sudah ngantuk...better sleep ..in order to splish splash the world tomowwo :)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
haaa...what a relief! i personally do not want any more guests coming. can ya'll come next year? it is wickedly tiring and mind blowing to be home during this time of year. glasses pecah ..pinggan berkecai ...what the hell...? can't they eat and drink properly? really ...now i knew why people opted for paper plates or polisterine's during eid. as for our house...all kaca!
sakit taya. first day of eid i was swamped with piles of things to do since 3am! huwaaa....people were coming non stop and i tak tahan anymore to clear the whole pinggan mangkuk closet ...for the sake of it. then have to wash all of them ..dry...stack ...aiyo ..even masterchef's kitchen is more organized than this!
I seriously cannot tahan this kinda life. hee...so how to marry? no need lah....tedious ang mo!
bahahahaha....now i cant wait to go to work and kiss my office. altho i didnt love it much either...but it is a NICE escapism....good place to hide ...and not be known of. hoh! ...ponet amat sei...
and yesterday was swell too..running errands here and there...congested traffic ..crazy kelantanese drivers! look at me ! am whining! ...really....it was obnoxious...occay....
and I thot of rewarding myself ....so I went to kfc kb...just to spoil myself....and no...i didnt ...get to do such...i was a double bummer! i felt like gobbling all mfc's pizza to release my dissatisfaction ..but i didnt. thinking of how much fat will i accumulate...i change my mind. but really...i just want a quick meal to keep meself happy. that's all. and no..kfc had to kill me.
coming home, i was still fumed. browsed kfc portal and lodge a complaint. there! puas hati. 'nuff said. he he
right now am exhausted from the heat and crazy kelantanese driving ...
i wanna sleep.
Monday, August 29, 2011
and Allah again Gives His Blessing. I Found out the Reason Why. It was conveyed to me in a unique way....subtle but Clear.
and to His Submission, I adhere. I now Know Why. I got The Answer from Him. Shukran.
it was not even a memory to begin with. it was a lesson to Grow me and educate me of Life.
Of how Human can be manipulating and Ignorant. That human would do anything (and by that I mean ANYTHING to get what they want and hid behind Religion to stay "humble" and "innocent".
Now that I know what it was ALL about ...again I am fooled by Lust but Taught by Allah to See Life in different perspectives, to which am Indeed Grateful.
The Ending may not be good but It's Consoling to know that It wasn't Me.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
tonight i came upon another truth...that Hurts so Deep...till I do not know how to Forgive...oh But I will Forgive for I want to Move on...
Dear Allah ...please take this news away ...from me.
I beg You for your Mercy.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
today i had the biggest laugh of my life. i didnt know what happened in our life, but the eagerbeaver team did some crazy stuffs today. it was too hilarious till i cant focus on my driving. gosh ..what were we thinking? pulling that kind of stunt? I bet Dato' is gonna grill us big time hahahaha...crazy mother! ha ha ..
the name eager beaver...suits us ...damn much! everyone was lookin hi and low for the 3 stooges. lol and kak lan was gone with the wind. undetected. i wonder where did she hide...hahahah..adoii...gila betui la korang....
and here i am now ..sitting and reminiscing...to the green gable years....oh mr blythe is JUST the right man to every girl's heart...ha ha ....it hit worldwide. little did I know it was a blast back then...gosh ...it was like ..before puberty. haha
i feel much much better today despite the stunt we pulled....good riddance ...i was ( still am) their leader...zorro tak bertauliah! LOL. apa aku nak jawab next week wei! we are so toasted!
i wonder what's in the store tomorrow ...i need to resume my laundry ..as usual ..jadi mak-mak ...mcm lynn senget kata...tu la keja aku ...if tak mengkadambabu kat ofis ..jadi kaldai kat umah plak ...he he...comei je..kaldai bulat..hahaha...
oh well...selamat teruskan ibadah puasa ...and let's sleep puas2 esok! hoyeahhhhhhhhh! pas tu petang masuk opis buat keje... huhu...
now? nak layan mata mr blythe chumei. hahahaha
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
huhu...i am so energetic despite the fact i am in the most challenging Week EVER! sometimes I wonder when Will this crazy life of mine stop? seriously...It didnt pay me much ..BUT I really feel Good doing These... :)
and I still cant stop smiling hahaha..i dont even know why ...I had a not-so-good day yesterday ...BUT...i didnt care much ..done is Done. Move On. Right love?
and for i donno how long ....i havent had ifthar with my nieces ...and yesterday Allah Granted me that wish. We buka puasa together. Like a Family we're Used to be. They Grew up when I was not here. I did not get a chance to be part of their Lives. Now that I am here, I would Definitely wanna make up for the time I've Lost..or suffice to say, Times I've Missed :)
Oh dear It felt so Great, sharmin cooked like super a lot ...unfortunately they were mostly freakin large shrimps and more shrimps! haha ...shrimps to me are like Kryptonite to Superman hahahah ...what a way to analogously put it huh? but It is ...I can't have too much prawn in me meals...it kills me ..inside out. so I only took ONE tiny lil one (that was the only one ..since the rests were XL tiger prons hahaha giler weii..) luckily there was chicken korma and veges..I love bokchoy! hoyeah! and grilled catfish ...shafira told me to buy at the stadium. The foods were scrumptious and Heaven~ most importantly ...Time with Family is Priceless. Although I can never buy back the Time I have Missed watching them Growing up, But I am Thankful, I still get to see them Now. Thank You Allah.
and believe me Allah ..I am still Smiling. hahah tak sedar diri esok another killin day ...haha what to do ..this is My Life. One step Further I shall Wait. in the Meantime ...burn the oil...kiss the stars ...smooching the wonderful nite skies ...and the Moon is just ..Perfect; to me :)
I'm Thankful - Alhamdulillah.
pssstt..... Miss me? *winks*
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
i got meself addicted to indo pek now ...dang..hehehe ...thanks to bolynn buntats ku ...that was just it. i guess it filled me days ...after long hours at work.... hee...*oh yeah?* haha
i was lounging like a rotten potato earlier and my mind was brought back to monday's lecture ...
I recalled talking to the class about life and death. it was like a short 5 minutes ads ...as I would always say ..heh hehehe..thing is ..I always LOVE sharing with them the story of life...story of the World ...story of us ...the human in it....
it all started when I was talking about all the chronic diseases today ....and was relating it to Death....one after another ...the topic lead to ...of how I fear ...what would happen to me ...if I were to be diagnosed with one ..( or two ..or few) and I have no one to look after me...I wouldn't know what to do .....I wouldn't know how to be Strong ....I wouldn't know how to Deal with it ....I expressed my Fear to them .....Not even a second late...a student abruptly spoke up..."TAK PE MISS! KAMI JAGA MISS! - followed by a few other students in unison .."YA!" : Dear Allah ...I was Speechless. I almost cried...but I didn't. I composed myself and smile and change topic. I could not Face them in that manner. I was too Speechless, Shocked, Amazed, Surprised...and Sad. in that Fleeting Moment, I Thank ALLAH SWT...for giving me Them in My World. Sungguh Allah...Aku Kagum. Terima Kasih.
Tidak Sia-Sia didikan yang Engkau Berikan kepada Mereka...I am Forever Touched by Your Grace...SubhanaALLAH.
and today in another class, I was talking on sabbatical, after my two team members come back from theirs, in a year and a half's time; whole class was half screaming ..WHAT?! NO.....and another student was saying ..."eh AFTER we graduate la .."
The faces that I saw today ( and previous), Made IT just Hard~
Saturday, August 6, 2011
of all the many things i wanna do tomorrow ...i am thinking to delete this blog...and all sorts of chat medium application on my lappy...
this is really gonna be a big move for me ...It is time for me to focus on my work. I feel a lot better these days and I am ready ...to leave the cyber world. I have other better things to do in life....
friends can keep in touch via phone ...emails ..smses....
there is no need for me to be connected to yahoo or blog anymore ...i have successfully left fb for good. why not these..?
i am making a decision soon. and I am confident I will walk through This.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
haigh ..i have been swamped with sooooooooooooo many chores. and today's tadarus was fun. hee...and the afternoon heat with izzati was helluva terrible heaty day...i think i got heatwave strikes...inside my body....ini siyes~~~~
citer nye I have to go and take up the order for 20 chicken pies...at my sis's house in kb. dang....tiba2 the road seemed so jauh and horrible....but..I had to ....there I was ...steamin' hot and lemao la after that...
i went to my class feeling soooo THIN and MELTED. I ran to the ladies and wet my face and legs..he he siyesly...dehydrated and am CURRENTLY having teh o suam .....non stop ..hahahahha
waddaya know ....the business my niece is doing is picking up its pace. it seems like i am the only who's having uber faith in them.
IF only sharmin wanna do it for a longer period of time .. i wouldnt mind to support it ..coz her pie is good and her knowledge from Mandarin Oriental shouldnt be put to waste. I am a keen supporter of pastries anyways...I can imagine myself opening a pastry cafe ...if not being a teacher....or kuli batak like dis ...ho ho ho...mcm best kan ? hee...*poof!* verangan tak hengats....
again..in this dinasor kingdom...who would wanna savor good brewed coffee and tea with pastries? e.x.a.c.t.l.y~
takkan nak cari customer high end saja kot......that's absurd.
Monday, August 1, 2011
first day of Ifthar for this ramadhan...haigh ...gile hectic! kelantan is jampacked. mai mana la semua manusia tiba2 bawak kluaq keta masing2 duk letak ataih jalan raya ....nyet nyet....aku nak balik keja pun jadi jam ...APA KES?! ompteh kata ...waddahell? hahaha serious....what's with orang kita ...the celcom line is crazy since last night....all sent messages were not delivered...system down ...saks ...and tiba2 late at night ..i received sms-es ( yeah like so freakin PLURALS!) so bykk ..wishing this and that ....people out of nowhere....whom I rarely heard from ...long lost schoolmate suddenly got my number from ahmad albab mana tah ...texted me ..."Selamat berpuasa" urgh...come on.....serious aku rasa nak carut ... awat ? kene tunggu posa dulu ka baghu nak contact kawan? of berpuluh tahun lama nya? nak kene tunggu ramadhan dulu ka ..tetiba ang teringat kat former cikgu hang ni? and nak wish?! lame-O....this is Orang Kita ....wahai Melayu2 Sekalian...( aku PUN melayu jugak...kekdahnya~~)
i wonder what happened to 335 days of their lives? Do they EVEN remember? I bet most of those sms-es are forwarded....they didnt even bother staying up all night to ensure the sentence RHYMED! sheesh~ puaka nya aku ...astaghfirullah....
then again ...that's how orang2 Bangsa Ku ..."menghargai" orang2 di sekeliling mereka....if it's not because of Puasa...or Eid ...or CNY or Deepavali....haram la orang2 nak ingat and wish for other's prosperity everyday....kan? klu ada pun berapa kerat la sangat.....put up yr leg and count-lah.......To Those who Really Appreciate your Friends and Loved Ones plus Family ..365 days ...I Salute You! KUDOS!
what did i do today? buat groceries utk stock sampai raya...coz I am sooooooooooooooo not gonna drive after 5pm in this month. people mistaken puasa for fun fair kot....practically every human in kelantan comes out from nowhere....I'd rather stay in the house. watch that idiot box...and do nothing. plus I think my mense is near ...he he he it's no good to be near human anyways ...
i'm still in shock and denials of Crowds~ *heh*
Saturday, July 30, 2011
I am being Tested. and Gosh I did not know much longer how am I gonna walk thru this. Redah je la....aku da tak laratttttttttttttttttttttttttt.. and with this Ramadhan coming am gonna walk thru this ..I hope Allah Gives me Light.
my bro in law's mom passed on yesterday.
nor came back today to celebrate Fasting.
I had good time with ELAC. canoeing.
I am so not eating Kambing anymore. serious! Kambing buat ku mengantuk gila...and tak dapat siapkan kerja ku.. ( yeahhhh blame it ALLLLLLL on the kambing...)
now i'm resuming my work. hopefully I will complete it by tonite. So tomorrow I can just send it off...hoyeah!
time to work the midnite oil again! and fight the sleepiness!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
i was very upset with office today. therefore i decided to head out ...renew my insurance and roadtax...since it's already a day late. previously i did not have enough time to go after office hour because everything is closed by then ...i finish my classes at 7pm daily... and start lecturing at 830 every day ...and make my way to the office by 8am...i devoted my time to Office...wholeheartedly. and today.....I am adamant to make it the Otherwise. No more Loyalty. First of all, I deeply Offended by the System. and second of all, I am just plain offended by The Attitude of Most people. therefore I decided to Un-do my loyalty to the office. I had enough...
I took off and went to do my stuffs..and returned to the office late in the evening ...to settle my work and left for the day. This time around I am not gonna look at the Office ..the same way again.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
huwargh...as usual ...my routine didnt stop ..i need to trash something out in this page..heheheheh...now that i'm no longer yearning for YOU...people around me keep reminding of YOU...haiii...takde keje ke korang....i'm happy being me... sudah2 la tu ..move on ...I know I did....*sigh* some people....
i had a good time with my muet this evening. i didnt even notice 2 hours juz passed. like lightning. hehehehe next thing i knew its 630 ...and nadhirah was anxious to go back ..and timah was tired from day chores.... he he
and tomorrow...ada open day la plak...adoii...korang ni tak penat ke? yg pasti ..I capek like no tomorrow u know...mkn nasi pun dalam polisterine...tangan kiri tekan keyboard...tangan kanan suap nasi...haighh....sat lagi aku kena pakai kaki lak nak jawab phone ...huhuhu...seb baik aku takdak tanggungjawab keluarga lagi...kalo tidak ..mau terabai semua ...life is hectic nowadays...i bet lynn wouldnt believe me ...right senget? hihihi....best nye ko da nak kawin ..lagi ...i'm happy for u nget-nget....nanti jgn lupa cari mat salleh kat aku sowang...nguahahaha...poyosh~
haigh...cik pa ..i wonder what is going on with you..long time no hear news ...How's yr house? must be silent without our langsuyoq giggles...he he ...I miss The Time~ kan? I miss varsity days....mcm orang gila...haha
in the class earlier I was telling my students ...to cherish life ..and be humble all the time ...no matter who they are...or who they are married to.
and I have just received a news ..tomorrow our beloved niece will send her papa here ...Dear Allah...i'm Speechless....but I am looking forward to Tomorrow....hope everything will be Fine.. :)
now aku tak lena tidoq ...thinking of tomorrow...hish~
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Hello salam bloggie
Haigh...today was hectic as always. I love my days ..but I need to have more exercises in the future. My running beach will start next week after my weekend canoeing with my ELACians. I am looking forward to complete the regime and treat myself to outdoor activities somewhere around next year. Uncle and I are working on nature project at national level. This is my passion People. I no Longer yearns for YOU. Alhamdulillah. I am so thankful to Allah SWT for helping me through this Phase. There’s Phillipine ...Sarawak...Cambodia ...and Jakarta to cherish anyways ...Life is too short to dwell on the past or even sadness. Make the best out of it ...help Others ...Share with Others...coz I never Know when will this Life of Mine ...Stops.
Again, I keep praying to Allah ...may you take me in the safest and calmest situation ever. That’s all I ask ...so I could Return to HIM in peace. InshaAllah. Doa itu tidak pernah Putus.
Oh Nice that Ramadhan is approaching soon. So soon that I almost forgot that I did get to prepare much this year. No time for baju raya dah ...its okay ..I have my shorts n shirt for dapur duties. I feel like cooking special dishes this year. Celebrating dad’s birthday and anniversary with Mak. It’s a Different and Miraculous year after all...we should commemorate it with Something....shouldn’t we?
And Me is already making a list....