hoho...i'm Drowning. I have submission by 18th. FOUR to be exact and I have only started with the frameworks! friggin things have been delayed due to my abnormal brain which can't even focus even to start A sentence! I'm Doomed. Can I make it? beats me globiee...it's fcukin' annoying too with all these assholes trying to beat tha Crap outta me with their nonsensical acts.
the last 2 days have been tied up with MQA, i took my AL to simply focus on my write ups. he he he ..guess what..i didnt move much. this is what u get when you are Blocked. as simple as that. suffice to say ...banyak dosa ..Allah Punishes....huhu :} *ai tot so too* ngeee :)
oh! oh! by the way, I went to my last session with Carolyn today, it was FUN. i think I spent like 2 hours 930-1130am....by talking and Talking. hahahahahahaha...When Carol meets McSha...nothing can stop them from potpetting and giggling like there is no tomorrow. We were catching up on so many things, the kuching trip, the Commotion at HQ, the kek lapis, The Problem of hers, my past ( suddenly I thought of my late brother and Grandfather) and yes ..I miss THEM very much. I told Carol, the time spent with Aboh (my late Grandad) was never enough because he managed to be There...eventho not really there. Most of the time he would be in the office and Around, but he always ensures his presence is felt. via Disney's cartoon ( of gazillions sets my uncle had to tape and buy...for ME :) )hahahaha and also all the assistants, PA, secretary...u name it ..our babysitters were aplenty. and they were all Family to Us. 'twas never a strange feeling being around them. and they're always The Uncles and The Aunties of our growing up years in Alor Setar. It was indeed a Home, where all the Hearts...Were. I miss the fact that he Loved me for who and what I was ( at that time) I wish he is Alive now ...for I know I will be making many right decisions instead of the wrong ones :) he he I know for sure he Will be there at the End of the line ...to say "YOU DO IT, why must you expect others to do it for you?" - YOU DO IT! yeah Aboh....if ONLY you are here Now, to be my Confidante, my Advisor, my coins-provider *coz everytime I wanna put the coins in that stupid MPKB slot, I would always think of u ..and my habit of tip-toeing into your room to collect all the shillings on the carpet...under the bed....or in your pocket even! hahaha* aaahh....you have always been my Best-est Grandfather...ever. There is no one like you. Now, a Disney movie is scornfully meaningless ..without you. hehe ...what am i yapping scornfully? I grew up with that. ha ha ...and today with Carol , those Images came out Clear in My Head. and She said to me "you have been a traveler since u were young....no wonder...." upon knowing the fact that I have been put on board the MAS Fokker every school break, alone and be "received" by my Uncle Jang in Alor Setar...without fail. I was my Aboh's favorite "Parcel" besides my Brother G; of course. It's queer how those images were so Clear today; in my Mind and Heart. Life is Amazing noh globbie...it Gives Aboh and Abg Saidi to me. Whom the latter, i did not have the opportunity to even shake his hand. He passed On, before I was even Conceived. To a reckless driver.
The 4 most significant persons in my life. and now I only have two more left. Super-Significant. and Carol too admitted that, now she knew whom did I inherited; oh ..The General indeed.
No wonder People have been talking of me to be the Sidekick...funny...I never feel That way. least not that I know Of. however, I do know for sure, I adore his Charisma and Patriotism.
and today too, I realize I am too Strong in the eye of a Person till she risks everything she has to beat me. It has never crossed this chomel mind of mine, she would relentlessly go to the un-superficial extend, oh globbie, she did. or may be does. my days are still circulating around that bimbo. anyhow, I really feel sorry for her....whot..? sorry? nahh....pity...yea ..i pity her ...for having to live in fear, of me. isn't it pathetically funny? Me? a nobody; to her the very least. could shake her gibraltar-ass~ * hahahaha excuse my french, i didn't mean to offend anyone :) *
-What doesn't KILL me, will make me STRONGER- I vehemently believe in that. The stronger i Become, the more you are annoyed with me, Is that even MY PROBLEM? you wanna culture dislike-ness and cynical jokes towards me ...go ahead, it was not even my problem to think of. Nonetheless, you are only conforming of your True Colors. of which, it's none of my problem either. he he. Let me ask ya globbie, did i put you in hot seat? LOL- only a jilted loser will feel or be in such situation.
I believe in what Goes around, will come Around. when that day comes, no matter how hard you try, you can never Run; nor Hide. I just hope you do not have to end up in a trash corner somewhere eating Junkies.
Again, talking to Carol was an eye-opener moment. She made me realized my un-limited Capability (within the human capacity). She made me realized how Lucky I am. She made me realized how Grown have I been in this Process. She made me realized, I'm SUPER CUTE DOW! hahahahahahhaha * oh eat your heart out for crying out loud *itcH. *lol~
all in all, as a HUMAN with very little good deeds in hand, I am forever THANKFUL Allah made my life in such a way. I learn to recognize....a Friend or a Foe.
and I'm still super cute with so many things at hand that many will be envious of. but hey, when you take it negatively, how can there ever be positive? Instead, work hard for it, the Rewards are Bountiful. and THOSE are PRICELESS, not even a PhD can ...BUY.
To Carol, Thank you for opening up my Mind; in such a creative and magnificent way. you're one of a Kind-lah Amoi he he he