Admiration

Assalamualaikum bloggie...

it's a longgggggggggg holiday weekend ...but i didnt feel like one. There were so many Walimahs around and I chose not to attend all. Congratulations to all. First of all, I have (earlier) allocated my committment to other things during this weekend. Second of all... I never like attending wedding ..not because of my status ..( damn u people who think i'm jealous...) Third of all, I will definitely come across u-know-who, which am not really in the mood of stirring a commotion ...for the time being. and Most of all, I have committed myself to something that I cannot leave for a mere feast. tumchui...

today i tried to recover my sleeps that i have lost for the past months....still not working ....i only manage to sleep for about 20 minutes and I was up and grabbing my sandwhich and orange juice. Fortunately I was able to knock meself out after maghrib ...for 3-hour sleep... Thank God...

Oh by the way, Happy Easter to all Christian friends out there. I almost forgot to wish them.

As I was drying my hair up and thinking ...about all these weddings I missed, I was brought back to The Question from an acquaintance...( oh well....a colleague....) he asked me...was it because of my "situation"? Good enough that he asked me politely .....therefore my answer was polite....enuff. No. It's hard to even tell people that I am not bothered my "position" that much. Least, not anymore. DO i have to shout to the world? Sometimes I feel like putting a HUGE sign on my forehead and say "I DONT F****** MIND" But majority find it hard to believe....*sigh....*
It was a pointless ...

pointless to even say it here. I know the society ...( and my workplace) are punishing me hard with this "status". They love doing that since god-knows-when. DO they even know How I feel? What I have to Go through? DO they even Care? - NO. Then why is it when it comes to that "status" people are mostly judgemental?

I am tired of pleasing people around me. Honestly so tired till I do not even want to speak and mingle with the opposite gender. freaky, I know. Bored, Mostly. I do not even know How much Longer can i Stand this Pressure. It's awefully unbearable most of the time. I know for sure Allah SWT ..Knows Best and Give me Best. HE has accompanied my Journey All this while...when No One Else is There to Hold My Hand....Yet HE Holds My Heart.

To me, THAT is more than enough....